Tu na achi hai pr..

Ammm… ok so, he said, “shweta,i am 19 days older than you, call me bhaiya”. I was like, okay, i dont have any problem nor were there any intentions of mine proposing you in the worst hour of my life, possible.

But for that time, i started thinking, am i not beautiful like those other girls to which boys look and say, “kasam se, yehi chahiye”. Am i too fat? But i have seen some girls too, they are more fattier than me. I mean, is being fat a curse? Only the slim girls are what you demand for ?

Well no, they say inner beauty!! What inner beauty? What i talk or how i say things? Ok so you mean, i am good in nature but i am not beautiful so i am not anybody’s type. Well now i dont need your answers which will help you coverup your words you have spoken up now!!

Another one said, “hey shweta you were looking cute today but my gf is more beautiful”. Ok so, first thing, who asked for your bloody comparison? I dont think so car insurance.Com advertisement is going on in which pehle compare kre and then buy kre!!

Anyways one day, another one said, “shweta tu achi dikhti hai pr thoda sa weight loss kr fit hojayegi “. Hey thanks for your suggestion because i was so desperately asking for it,right?, okay. Then there another guy said, dont you change , you look absolutely fine the way you are, healthy chubby and fit!! I was happy you know. I was simply happy. That just made my day.

I dont expect for a handsome dashing guy coming to me and proposing, not even in dreams and thats not even a dream, i like it when people say something good no matter about what, it may be my talent or way i do things or every stupid thing i do just to entertain all and get happy because you laugh at my silly dialogues. I am not searching for my perfect guy, its just that may be if we start teaching people that appreciating others is also good manners, then maybe some people begin to have some good days in their daily working n tiring lives.

Not only me, everygirl likes compliments especially when its true. Theres something good about every person. !! Appreciate it!!

~thankyou 💝



When i said bye to him

I wanted him to turn back for the one last time, see my tears and rush back to wipe it off, see into my eyes, kisses on my forehead and promises me that he’ll surely come back once and of all and would never leave me next time and hugs me tight ensuring me life ahead…..

But instead, he moved on leaving me alone, shedding tears on my own, overflowing emotions which failed to resist back in eyes which were actually longing for his flip back!¡

My inner soul called him, stopped him,told him dont go because… i need you. But my love was pious and he turned back but opposite to my desire, he saw my smiling face which bluffed him with a hope that i am alright and with a deep breath, i wiped off my exposure of emotion and he moved forth and i to the back, he to his airport and me… just sitting there looking at him till he fades off, i wished for his future journey and moved for my cab which was waiting for me to get me to my lovely apartment without the one who now made it lonely.

But then my name pops up from behind which was ringing up as if somebody has swinged up the key of a doll for thousand times and when i just saw back….

It wasn’t him!!

They were my friends rushing to me singing in a chorus those happy birthday tunes and i remembered its 9th october, my birthday which i completely forgot and i guess he too…

This time, i couldn’t stop myself from crying my heart out and reasons they knew, they all 4 of them hugged me ensured me that they’ll never leave and filled me with the sense of togetherness which i had actually lost for few seconds before. They wiped off my tears and pushed me into the cab and went to beachside and had a party there, we danced all and they did every possible thing just to make me feel better.

Another side my phone kept on ringing and i had his 21 missed calls unanswered!….

💝thankyou for read!ng°!

I think a hell lot!!

Last night, i had a little conversation with one of my friend, and i asked him to share some of his funny incidents. I wasn’t in a good mood, so he told me some and then he asked me up about my situation. I am a kind of a person who thinks a hell  lot about people’s feelings . I cant take up the blame for somebody’s sadness. So he gave me a little advice, he told me to be selfish for myself, we are humans, each one is connected to other for his/her own pleasure. I agreed to him at some point and it gave me a little relief. 

But are we supposed to be nice to people only till we think if they are of some use?  But another point too, we can’t take care for them for their full lives. Nobody should stay a baby for their full life thinking  the other person is always there for them to take care of. Stop depending on other person for your own happiness. Infact at somepoint of your life, your parents also wants you to be independent and start finding a life on your own. Everybody has to grow. Things hurt but it makes you wiser. 

If i choose up not to be the same anymore because i dont want to, then even i dont want to hear if somebody’s sad because of it.  And yes, people changes, if you physically change with time then even mentally you should do. 

Its not that you should stop trusting people, but it just means stop depending on themselves for everytime you are in problem, try handling it yourself, grow up and stop blaming people for your own emotions!! 

-thankyou for your time 🙂

My boyfriend!! 💝

He said “shweta,i love you” , ready with his reply to the next question i didnt asked. 

I questioned “until when?”

“As long as i am alive “,  he replied

It wasn’t  like i didnt had any feelings for him, i liked him, because he was funny, popular,intelligent, a gentleman, yeah!! And a good listner but the main thing which i got to know  was,  he could do anything for me. Thats crazy, but a good feeling you know!! Bollywood movies type, tumhare lia kuch b kr skta hu kind of!!😂😂. 

Well it wasn’t even that easy for him to impress me and make me realise that he actually love me. He put in his lot of efforts though. All those sweet poems, his 2 articles on wordpress just for me, his tweets, all those compliments he gave me, and that special feeling i ever recieved, made me fall for him. 

From 2 nights, he didnt slept because he had exams and the third night i had immense pain in my body and i was using Twitter just to divert my mind. So he and i started talking in dm, told him why i was awake till late and in between when pain takes a break, we talk and there he told me, he sees my insta everyday and stalks my profile on twitter, for once i felt like i am a goddess and he is a pilgrimage. Anyways, that was shocking because i never found myself this worth seriously. So we talked full night, i told him to sleep because waking up wasnt a good idea for him n continuously for 3 rd night too. But he denied. So can say, he was there for me full night in my pain and finally around 4:30 or 5 am, he kind of a proposed me. Wasn’t that easy for me to feel exactly same like him so i asked him for some time and being a nice guy, he said anything that is comfortable for me, (aww so sweet of him😍) but anyways, i said him i love u too (as a friend i didn’t mentioned). We kept on talking and eventually the night which i was supposed to suffer alone in pain turned into a beautiful romantic morning i ever had and around 7 am something i guess i slept and woke up again at 9. 

Next day we exchanged our numbers and i put up my pic as whats app status. All i got from his convo was, he started falling for me more than before and i knew it wasn’t a good indication because what if i never felt the same love for him like he feels for me. I talked to my friend and she said me,” shweta dont tell me if you are in a relationship with a guy you telling me about”. I denied if i was in. Talked to another friend n she said be careful for whatever decision i make.

He waited for a month for me, his elder brother came to know that something  was wrong with him and he told him all but he still isn’t sure about me. One day he told me to start taking decisions of my life, because i always have one answer to every thing that is i dont know. He said he is comfortable with an answer than to stay hanged for so long. He was right at his part. I knew i will never get a gentleman and a loving guy like him. I thought a lot and concluded a yes to him..

Will be continued…….💝

Precious 💎

Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.”
― Muhammad Ali

Just sharing something with a very emotional soul right now. 
I came in 6th standard, i met a girl. We tried to interact. We became best ever foes. 😂

For like 3 and a half years, we continued this strong bond of being enemies. It was always like whose the best and as always she was n she is. But yeah, we were never jealoused instead we used to get angry a hell lot. 

Then in 9th standard, a girl took admission n we in starting  were highly impressed by her. She became friend n eventually because she was also very active n a bright student with overconfidence 😥, became a mutual foe of both of us. 😹 

That’s how we became friends when we started making fun of every child of our class n shared common hatred for that girl. 😹😹 we enjoyed each others company a lot and we started feeling like “why did we met too late?” 

We used to sing songs too loud in the class because of two reasons, first we didnt liked out classmates and second we didnt care about anyone. We reached in 10th n went to interschool debate competitions and science competetions. Our pair got so famous in school that one day, we were not talking to each other, n a girl from 11th came to us n asked,”are you both friends again now?” N we looked each others face n laughed a lot. Even our senior teachers gets to know from our faces, whether we are friends at the moment or not. We both had a great bonding with our science teachers n m0st of the time we used to bunk our classes n sit with them. We passed 10th with 10cgpa and danced a lot on stage. 

We came in 11th, she opted medical n i non medical, though same class, she got some friends i didn’t liked n i got some friends she didn’t liked. Then we just got seprated for like 3-4 months n a day came when we couldnt hold our grudges n we just cried n laughed n get back together. Then 12th, it was like a daily routine to go to the canteen and eat samosas n stuff. I remember i was inside the canteen n i broke off the water tap.😹😹😸 uncle got angry but we laughed a hell lot in front of him n even he started making fun of me. Enjoyed that though. Then we used to give our canteen wale uncle 15 rs n take 3 samosas instead of 2 n used to blackmail him like uncle, its our last session n u wont be able to see us n entangles him into the convo like hows aunty n ur children. 😹😹 he used to get happy n we get ours samosa. 

We never realised like one day, this school will be over n we won’t be able to meet each other every day. But now do we realise, it makes me feel so lonely without her, i call her my fairy god mother because to deal with me is not easy, n to even understand her isnt easy because all her sarcasm i have been through😹😹 and whats she says was what she dont want in front of all. Only i knew what she meant and this was really a beautiful thing. 

She is so close that she has now become a family member, i remember i was taking bath n she came to my home n sat in my room i didnt knew and surprised me because i was without my leggings😹😹😹. Besharam aurte😹😹

Went to golden temple n sitting there was the first time i felt what peace is and you made me realise it and ur dialogue “shweta kabhi shanti se baithi hai”😹😹😹.  Yea, i remember never.😜 

All i know is what i am today,the sense of world and every thing,  is only  because of her. Right now, i am in Bhopal n whenever i talk to her, i miss her even more n sometimes it makes me cry. This whole topic is just dedicated to you my fairy god mother n yes you are “PRECIOUS”. 💝💝💝

Mentally hurted🔥


God damn, some problems that may look nothing to others, are sometimes the most hurting things ever.

I know its not easy to play with fire, but to even think to sit close to it might burn you. Sometimes we say those things which we actually havent thought about. But just because others are saying it, we start thinking like that too. And then when someone else makes us realise about it, we actually feel bad and hurted. We get served what we deserve. 

When anyone defames us,we get angry and its natural . But right now, its anger,regret, hatred and hate myself kind of feelings i have for that person. Because he was right and i was exactly wrong. Yes, because he showed me the mirror.  This is the fact that i fail to accept . Thats why it hurts and i am hurted. 

He dont know me thats why he did this but everybody is not supposed to know me. The hell, i need to grow up. This blog is nothing but just self realisation of own mistakes and getting hurted because of own attitude problem. 

Maybe i should stop interacting, whosoever feels like talking to me can contact directly and probably 97% of the people dont even care. 

I guess i shouldn’t even bother about them much, because they wont get affected by my state of mind right now and i will keep on overthinking about it. That could be worse. 

 I wont give a shit about what people think and do now 🔥

Never been through my age? Ever? 

Last night, it was around 11:30, i was on my bed and wasnt able to sleep, so i woke up and felt like a headache maybe because of long hours usage of mobile. So i went to the kitchen and got a packet of biscuits and sat on my sofa. 

While eating, i just got reminded of a message my classmate (deep)sent me asking me to meet him for the last time as i am going to shift to another state after few days. 
But i know, my mom would never allow me to go alone and meet him because of her safety concerns and being a mother of a teengirl,obviously society concerns too. Although i know, the answer will always be no but at first place,i dont even have guts to ask her about this. 

Honestly, i am very frank with my mom and she is also very friendly but no matter what, a mom is always a mom,whom you are always scared of her reaction. I dont even find any topic to start a convo about this, and slowly ask her if i can go or not?.

But my main concern is, have you never been through my age?, or its just something new problem within me which just wants to spend a little time with a guy friend?

And especially when you have met him!! I am well known about all the major problems which are happening in our country, and the reason why i am willing to go with him, is just that i know he’s a good guy and wont do anything in disfavour of me and he also lives in the same area. 

Its just that, when i can talk and discuss about each and everything to her, then why do i hesitate to ask her this? Even a no would be satisfying but just a topic. 

I guess,i’ll neither reply him nor ask my mom about it!! 


Look at them!!

So yeah, ” look at them”, my dad says “small children just of 21-23 age are making their future so bright and earning so well”…i was like ok dad, i’ll work hard too. I used to hear many things from every tv show my dad sees, if its dancing show, then “dekho aaj kl bache kamaal hai” and same for singing shows too. I dont know he taunts me or what but i get offended. Ofcourse he is my dad and he has very high expectations from me. 
I can never make somebody my idol, ofcourse i ll try to learn some good values from them if i am in a good mood, you know it depends.😹😹 

If i dont look upto someone then i dont even look down on someone.. even !!no??    

If somebody has worked hard, i appreciate it and he/she is getting a fruitful result too but that doesnt mean my aims would start matching him/her. I may not match her success or fame, but i might enjoy the job i do and i guess thats the definition of success for me. 

Its not that i blame parents to have expectations from me but its just that lemme try for once what i believe in, doesnt matter if i lose but what if it happened“. 

And most importantly, we are not for permanent. We are just temporary. Then how can we decide our occupation for forever. 

Why in this so called infite universe our study courses are bound only to engineering, medical, MBA and Law. Because if you choose any other course, there is no job placement in it.  

I belong to middle class family in which i am supposed to be very carefull in case of my study course so that i can get a good job after it, so yeah basically engineering. Because its like “beta pehle engineering krlo fir jo mann aaye vo krna”. OR its like “engineering krlo beta, life set hai”.

This is surely not what i wanted. I know i’ll hardly get my 12th percentage in 80s or might be not. But i am sorry dad, i m not as good as a your colleague’s child who gets in 90s. But i surely knows where my heart lies and what i am supposed to do. Afterall i understand you and i promise i wont let you down and yeah i’ll certainly look at them but not as my idol..

I can only write what i feel in my blog because i cant say it, maybe one day i’ll speak up too.. 


कभी नही॥

जो किसी दिन ना मिलू
तो घबराना नही

चुप ना रहना

लेकिन बुलाना भी नही

कभी मशरूफ हो जाऊ

तो तनहा रहना भी नही

जो कभी याद भी आऊ

तो दिल हारना नही

प्यार है तो मगर

प्यार करके पछताना नही

जो होजाओ नाराज़ तुम कभी

हक है यह, बात नही

वो सब करना जो तुमहे खुशी दे

मगर एहसान नहीं

जिस दिन भूलजाओ तुम मुझे

वो जीत है तुमहारी, हार नही

वो ज़िंदगी ही क्या ए अजनबी

जहाँ मिलना और बिछङना नही

कभी राह चलते मिल जाओ जो कभी

राहगीर समझना, हमराही नही ||



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